Yinyangmother

Nothing – it’s what you really need

I’m on holidays as I publish this (oh I’m sorry to make you jealous) – enjoying that sense of space we find so hard to find in our everyday lives. What do we look forward to when we go on holidays? Mostly doing NOTHING.

I can’t get away from the theme right now that what we need most when it comes to selfcare are opportunities to press pause in our life (see this post 10 #parentingpauses). Forget massages and facials and new shoes (well maybe not forget them, but they are not as important – remember it’s not about being selfish but self-full).

What we need most is not something – but nothing – space, silence, stillness.

I think we feel empty because our consumerist, yang society is always telling us we’re not enough. And when we feel empty we’re conditioned by our consumerist, yang society to want something to fill the void. Another toy, something to eat or drink, some new success, something (and often anything – think drugs, TV, facebook, candy crush saga, even random emergencies) to take our mind off everything (because we have so much to deal with)!

We don’t sit well with empty.

Outside of holidays we feel guilty if we are doing NOTHING and yet we yearn for it.

It’s crazy how we (are taught to) think, isn’t it?

We have too much to deal with, with so we think we just need more time. But time is both finite (when it comes to getting things done – there just ain’t any more) and infinite (when it comes to just being and doing nothing – it’s endless).

We know (well most of us) that aside from the more time we wish for, we need less stuff to fill the time we are lucky to have. But that simple answer isn’t so simple to achieve.

Sometimes I think my words simply add to the clutter that complicates life.

If I’m saying that what we need is so simple – stillness, space, silence – then why do I clog up your screen with more of my written detritus. Perhaps I should just say NOTHING.

So I won’t post another Christmas gift list (I did this one last year that was all about giving and receiving love and connection, presence – not presents).

But I won’t stop writing (because there are plenty of people writing about simple living so maybe my words aren’t a waste of space – think of the famous Leo Babuto from Zen Habits – Michelle from My Slow Living Adventure interviews him on her blog).

Instead I’ll watch my words, choose them wisely, and so offer you the space and time to find nothing. Maybe go meditate.

NOTHING is what can fill the emptiness we feel from too much of EVERYTHING.

Linking up from beautiful Brunswick Heads with Essentially Jess for IBOT – Do you agree that NOTHING is the simple answer?

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Ahhh yes – the gift of doing nothing! It’s a funny thing that. I only ever seem to give myself permission to do ‘nothing’ when I am away on holidays. Yet, it would be so beneficial to my wellbeing to allow myself moments of doing nothing on a more regular basis. I do find that I carry guilt if I’m not achieving or being productive – in my normal non holiday days! I’m very much looking forward to 6 days/5 nights away in December where I can do nothing as much as I want. Enjoy your holiday!

Enjoy your December getaway and hope you can ditch the guilt as well on ‘normal’ days.

Love it Kathy. And enjoy that holiday. Only a smidge jealous here lol xx

It WAS lovely Deb – where did the week, and NOTHING go though?!

I think it is so important to find our everything in what we already have then sit with the stillness and find peace in the nothing. A question I have been asking myself lately – “is this enough?” and often the answer – despite the circumstance of the question is always yes. We have enough, we are enough, in that we are equally everything and nothing. Enjoy the break – my body aches for our end of year break xx

I like that Josefa – I guess we can’t sit around and do NOTHING (and wouldn’t want to) but if we tell ourselves the answer is always that we are doing enough, then that is great. I’m sure the end of year break will feel like heaven.

You hit the nail on the head – nothing is exactly what I need and what I need to do !

Enjoy your leave !

Thanks LInda – gone in a flash of course. I’m afraid in doing nothing I also didn’t answer comments. Hope you had a good week too.

I love it Kathy. Enjoy your holiday. Remember your time is always filled with something, you get to chose what that something is! And yes, nothing is something!! I’m off to do some yoga…

Thanks Michelle – yoga feels like the best sort of something and nothing rolled out one yoga mat.

Oh yes. I appreciate every bit of nothing I receive these days (those moments can be few and far between). I feel like society thinks that makes me lazy or lacking something, but I know it’s good for the soul

Hope you get to enjoy some nothing. Much more important to care for your soul than care about society.

Kathy I hope you’re having an absolute ball, good weather so far! I can’t wait for our 7 days away I’ll be almost completely disconnected and I can’t wait!

I reckon disconnection is a big part of doing nothing – and of course it leads to the best kind of reconnection!

Oh we most definitely need your words. You always seem to write what I need to hear. I might have to employ you as my psychologist ? You always get me thinking in a direction I hadn’t thought of. I like it. I hope you’re having an amazing time with the fam x

You’re funny Renee – but glad I get you thinking. It was lovely – I do have a problem with turning my thoughts of though, regardless – I think (ha,ha) it’s end of year ruminating.

Exactly my thoughts lately Kathy. Love this! Inspiring. Enjoy every moment of your holiday x

Thanks Druime – it was a good break.

I agree … I’m looking forward to just chilling and doing NOTHING over the Chrissy break. Enjoy your holiday!

Thanks Janet – not long to go to your chilling now (I’m going to sneak a few days off to stretch out the break with the public holidays – not going way again, but I’ll be chillin too).

I want one of those “nothing” holidays too!

Hope you get one soon Melissa, or at least find some ‘nothing’ moments to string together!

Ah good old relaxing nothing. I think that the martyr syndrome and feeling like if we aren’t busing, then we aren’t doing enough contributes to our feelings of worthlessness.

I hope you are enjoying your holidays!

Guilty (ha, ha) of martyr syndrome but also ‘not guilty’ of laziness. It was lovely while it lasted.

It is so true – why do we feel that we need to busy all of the time? Sometime I think it is to feel important. Slowing down and taking time for nothing is a real skill to be practiced. Thanks for reminding me to try and fit it in!

Nice of you to visit – and I agree that we get a sense of identity out of being busy. Not that I want to be known as the lazy one, but I know I need to slow down or at least find the nothing times within the busyness.

I’ve been so busy lately I actually enjoy the twenty-five minute drive to work because all I have to do is think (and drive of course but that’s on auto pilot). I can’t wait until my holidays for a bit of navel gazing. Enjoy yours Kathy

Only one week to go now Pinky? Then I’ll be jealous of you with the school holiday break.

I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday! I am not a materialistic person – shoes don’t make me happy – but I AM very bad at doing nothing. I definitely fill up all the spaces in my day. Some of it, of course, has to be done – we need to eat, earn, live in something vaguely equating to a hygienic bathroom! But a lot of it could also wait till tomorrow and the world wouldn’t end. Thank you for the timely reminder.

Yep, there’s a lot to be said for relaxation and play that don’t cost anything (or anything much) and just FREE time and space.