How To : 10 Costumes That Will Get You Laid at Your Next Halloween Party.
To steal a quote from Mean Girls , Halloween is the one night when a girl can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything about it—but why do girls get to have all the fun?
Why can’t guys use the day to be good looking? Scary good looking? Well, use one of the following ten costume ideas this Halloween and you will be one step closer to making this a holiday one you’ll never forget, if you know what I mean.
I don’t know what the obsession is with vampires, but there has been a huge resurgence with shows and movies like True Blood and Twilight . But no matter how fresh people try to spin these new vamp stories, they all take their cues from Dracula.
I didn’t believe it when I saw it, but Dracula is making its way back to TV, and Dracula was the OG of seducing the ladies. So, bringing back a nice Dracula costume will surely put all women under your spell. To keep it more 2013, wear a more contemporary suit. But the cape and fangs are a must.
#2. Hugh Hefner.
The King of Playboy and the only grandpa you might have paid money to switch places with. He’s had thousands of women strip down for him and has been married more times than you thought legally possible. While he is no longer in his hey-day, the classic Hef outfit is still a fan favorite, and somebody’s got to take his place soon, right?
Donning a velvet robe, slippers, and pajama bottoms gives the ladies thoughts of a very comfortable evening. And if you want to go even further, opt for the Viagra candy. It’s hilarious and funny brings the honeys.
#3. James Bond.
Looking like a freaking boss never gets old. Slap on your finest tuxedo, slick back your hair, and throw down some dirty martinis. You can chose from decades of different Bonds, like my childhood bond Pierce Brosnan, or the current Bond, Daniel Craig.
The key is to have a very well fitted tuxedo. If you want to pull it off right, you have to keep it tight. Adding a gun (preferably a black one) and martini glass will top it all off.
Women love when men clean up and look sharp, and there is no one sharper the Bond, James Bond. There is a reason why James Bond always gets the girl.
#4. Robin Thicke.
Robin Thicke blew up this year with hit songs and a ridiculous performance at the MTV Video Music Awards with Miley Cyrus. The performance was so ridiculous that it’s set to be one of the most popular costume ideas this year. Robin Thicke had the (dis)pleasure of having Miley Cyrus twerk all over him, and now you can too. Well probably not with Miley, but at least someone at your party.
All you need is a black and white suit like Thicke wore at the VMAs. You can use a Beetlejuice costume if you don’t want to go through the hassle of making a black and white suit yourself.
You can also go as Robin Thicke in his “Blurred Lines” video. All you need for this is a nice black suit, classic aviators, and that silly hairdo. It’s perfect for last-minute sexy, and if you want to pull out all the stops, you can add the ladies too.
The ultimate ladies man and head anchor of the Channel 4 news team, Ron Burgundy is back in action. After Anchorman killed it at the box office, the team is back in the saddle for the sequel Anchor Man 2: The Legend Continues . So, put back on that burgundy suit with the white shoes, and put the mustache to work. Veronica Corningstone couldn’t resist Mr. Burgundy, and neither can anyone else.
Do I really have to explain why Twister is a damn great costume. You will literally have women crawling over you. Pure genius.
#7. Kissing Booth.
Now we are getting a little more creative. Who doesn’t like a little obvious humor. I have actually never done a kissing booth, but I am sure it works as advertised. Instead of dropping lines or trying really hard for a kiss, why not just dress up like a freaking kissing booth. Genius!
Making yourself into a human kissing booth guarantees a least a few smooches. Anything beyond that is up to you—and make sure you carry a lot of mints.
#8. Shower Curtain.
Anyone feeling a little dirty? Why not a nice cold show to clean you off? Perhaps that’s a little creepy to say, but a shower curtain costume is an easy excuse to show off your abs (if applicable) and invite a lady for some private time.
Having working curtains is great for shielding you and a lady friend from wandering eyes. Plus it is just an fun and easy way to get girls to talk with you and get close. Yay for showers.
#9. Emergency Services.
Everyone loves a man in uniform. It adds authority and just looks really good. Women supposedly have fantasies about cops and firefighters all the time, which is why I assume it’s such a popular male stripper outfit. You can go with the sexy firefighter, the off-duty, or the full uniform. It’s whatever you feel.
And if fighting fires aren’t your thing, go the cop route. Protect and Serve. The uniform consists of blue or black slacks and a dress shirt (blue or black) with a badge and officer number. You really can’t go wrong here, and maybe you can actually put those handcuffs to use.
#10. Ryan Gosling.
Anything Ryan Gosling is a win. and I mean anything. The guy has his own set of memes and vines. Women love Ryan Gosling. Just mentioning his name in a crowd of women is dangerous. I don’t know what it is. Maybe his growth from a Disney Star to turned silent killer in Drive gave him that bad boy with a good heart kinda vibe that women love.
Driver from “Drive”
One of the best movies of 2011, Drive inspired a bunch of wannabe “Drivers.” But it did make for a great Halloween costume. You gotta hand it to the guy on the left—that’s a pretty damn good costume.
Noah from “The Notebook”
And how can I mention Ry-Go without mentioning The Notebook ? Tossing in the Notebook is basically like giving a women Viagra. After the tears are shed she is ready for bed. Toss on a paper boy hat, a nice white tee or dress shirt, some slacks, and put on your innocent charm. Ladies love a man who appreciates The Notebook , and dressing like Noah is a win-win.
Luke from “The Place Behind the Pines”
If you want the most up-to-date Ryan Gosling costume, you have to get a little grunge. In The Place Beyond the Pines , Gosling plays a carnival bike rider turned bank robber. He’s donning a ton of tattoos, including a dripping dagger face tat, and bleach blonde hair, and crusty clothes.
So, dye your hair blonde, have a friend draw on some washable tattoos, wear a tattered tee, acid wash jeans, and show up to the party on a motor bike. If anyone asks who you are, just say, “I’m Ryan Gosling from a movie,” and you’ll have to keep the women off of you.