As I See It

Viagra. both can kill you. “x” don’t worry about that problem.”
― Deyth Banger

How ironic that the marketing of viagra should turn out to be hard

When Pfizer patented and launched Viagra it created a treatment for a serious medical condition and a worldwide joke. In marketing the product it finds itself torn between the two.

Humour is impossible to define or to explain, but among the many things that make us laugh there are plenty that should not. In the 1980s, alternative comedy sought to remedy this and was, as a result, unamusing. Though it may offend some people – and giving offence is an inescapable part of humour – we find the embarrassment, hurt and indignity of others funny. Slapstick comedians got their laughs that way. Perhaps, as some argue, humour is a form of catharsis, it somehow makes the pain less real, but for whatever reason certain medical conditions border on the hilarious.

Constipation is funny, as is its opposite, diarrhoea. Piles are funny. In fact, almost anything to do with the lower alimentary regions is a hoot. Weak bladders are funny. Ingrowing toenails are funny and so are fallen arches. Certain physical conditions are the butt of humorists; cleft palates, wall eyes, bat ears, bulbous noses, bald heads, gap-teeth, there’s hilarity in every oddity. But of all bodily bits and pieces nothing is so guaranteed to cause a laugh as the sexual organs, their characteristics and deployment.

The malfunctioning of the male member is doubly funny: it is funny simply by dint of being the male member, it is also funny because its failure to perform as intended is a cause of embarrassment and dismay. In providing the means to overcome the problem the makers of Viagra, far from robbing the joke of its potency, so to speak, simply added to it. For now we can combine our laughter at erectile dysfunction with another comic standby, the onset of old age.

All sex is funny, but geriatric sex especially so. There are scores of jokes about octogenarian men with lively libidos (one follows later) though for some reason far fewer about women of a similar age and inclination. Anyway, the genre was given a boost with the advent of a pill capable of restoring vigour to an old friend fallen on soft times.

The earnest pharmacologists at Pfizer could not have expected that their wonder drug would make people laugh, but it did. Joke or not, it needed no marketing. In fact, once its existence became known the ground shook beneath the feet of stampeding older men. In the UK, however, Viagra was classed as a prescription-only drug, hence the daily blizzard of e-mails offering supplies that by-pass the doctor and the chemist.

In North America, by contrast, Viagra is advertised, but with restrictions. In both the US and Canada drug companies can advertise medicines without discussing side-effects as long as they do not mention the condition the drug is supposed to treat. With Viagra that ought not to be a problem, since the whole world and his grandma knows what the little blue pills do. However, Pfizer does not have the market to itself; far from it, in fact it’s losing market share to rival impotence drugs. So it needs to advertise, but it cannot openly say why the product is so efficient at delivering consumer satisfaction.

The task of solving the conundrum fell to Taxi, an advertising agency in Toronto, which, after who knows how much deliberation, tooth sucking and daydreaming came up with the answer – gobbledegook. The TV ads, so far shown only in Canada, feature middle-aged men and women talking in a language that will remind older Britons of the late Professor Stanley Unwin, inventor of Unwinese:

“Viagra spanglecheff?” says a man to a friend at a bowling alley.

“Minky Viagra noni noni boo-boo plats!” says the first man with a lascivious grin.

The ads end with the slogan, “The International Language of Viagra”.

Maxine Thomas, an executive at Taxi, says the ads do not need to say what Viagra does: “Consumers can fill in the blanks for themselves.”

One hesitates to speak of a “marketing first”, since there is nothing new under the sun, but there cannot be many ads that have employed gibberish to tell potential consumers something they already know.

Would it not have been better to use an out-and-out Viagra joke, such as the following:An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old. I started taking this Viagra pill, and last night I got lucky with two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice.”

The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?””Never Father, I’m Jewish.”

“So why are you telling me?””Are you kidding? I’m telling everybody!”Noni noni boo-boo plats!

As I See It

I recently was forwarded an email containing the following. and this sparked my vaguely yet eternally warped imagination and I was compelled to add some of my own (my additions are in red). Enjoy. and if you have any to add, by all means, drop them into the comments!

> The Funniest Staff Meeting Ever!
>
> The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a
> spontaneous staff
> meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week.
> (This is one pretty
> sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who
> understood the benefits
> of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the
> meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising
> slogans.
>
> The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans,
> originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight
> variations were acceptable.
>
> About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and
> created a Top 10 list. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of
> the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:
>
> 10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
>
> 9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
>
> 8. Viagra, like a rock!
>
> 7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there
> overnight.
>
> 6 Viagra, Be all that you can be.
>
> 5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
>
> 4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
>
> 3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!
>
> 2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!
>
> And the unanimous number one slogan:
>
> 1. This is your peepee. This is your peepee on drugs.

The following are the ones I came up with.

Viagra – You’ve got the gusto now!

Viagra – when you care enough to give your VERY best.

Viagra – So simple a caveman could do it.

Viagra: We answer to a higher authority.

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

NOTE: If anyone knows of the original author of this, let me know and I will be happy to give credit!

Funny Viagra Sayings

9 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Viagra you must read.

Funny Viagra Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 9 famous quotes and sayings about funny viagra to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 9 Funny Viagra Sayings

#1. What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. – Author: Carroll Bryant

#2. Remember, when you don’t know what to do, it never hurts to play Scrabble. It’s like reading the I Ching or tea leaves. – Author: Kelly Link

#4. A man goes into Boots and says: “Have you got any Viagra?” “Do you have a prescription?” asks the chemist. “No,” he replies, “But ‘I’ve got a photograph of the wife.” – Author: Frank Carson

#5. The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It’s that old women are so very ugly. – Author: Jimmy Carr

#6. If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there’d be headlines of ‘Russell How-hard’ in the newspapers. – Author: Russell Howard

#7. You have in the U.S. around two million new diagnoses of cancer a year, and 13 million survivors, so you have about 10,000 patients that require analysis every day. That’s about five petabytes that need to be transmitted and computed on a daily basis. – Author: Patrick Soon-Shiong

#8. There’s nothing particularly wrong with being more pessimistic than optimistic. Optimism is broad-based, non-detail-oriented thinking; pessimism is detail-oriented thinking. – Author: David Rakoff

#9. Everyone will find what he’s looking for. Nothing pleases everyone: this man gathers thorns, that one roses. – Author: Petronius

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Slogans We’d Like To See for Cialis Pills, the Loss of Erection Drug

The marketing gurus at Ely Lilly probably don’t need our help to come up with a sales pitch for Cialis, their blockbuster erectile dysfunction drug. Judging from the public’s enthusiastic response to an ED medication that works for 36 hours, the company has done an excellent job of spreading the word to consumers.

But we couldn’t resist the temptation to have some fun while stretching our creative muscles. So one of our head writers came up with a fanciful list of suggested slogans for Cialis… just in case Ely Lilly is thinking about revamping its Cialis campaign.

So without further ado, here are our slogan ideas for Cialis. (If anyone at Ely Lilly is paying attention – these are for sale at a very reasonable cost.)

• Cialis. Why dream when it’s more fun staying awake?
• How do you spell erection? C-I-A-L-I-S.
• Cialis. If you’re not hard, we’re not happy.
• This is your penis. This is your penis on Cialis. Any questions?
• Cialis. Works for thirty-six hours so you have something to work with.
• Erectile dysfunction got you down? Get back up with Cialis!
• Cialis. Helping people connect, thirty-six hours a day!
• New and improved Cialis. Now with advanced lifting action.
• Cialis. One pill. Two people. Thirty-six hours. You do the math.
• Working harder to get you harder.
• Cialis. Feel the power in your pocket.
• Don’t take erection problems lying down. Rise to the occasion with Cialis.
• Why wonder? Be certain with Cialis.
• Cialis. Just a little surprise for your erection issues.
• Up, up and away you go with Cialis.
• Cialis: Guaranteed to get a rise out of you.
• Cialis: Jet fuel for your pocket rocket.
• Fasten your seat belt and enjoy the ride with Cialis.
• Cialis… isn’t science great?
• And our writer’s very best suggestion for the new Cialis slogan:
• Cialis… Keeping men up at night since 2003!

We hope you’ve enjoyed these light-hearted suggestions for Cialis slogans.

But seriously folks… if you’d like to learn about Cialis and find out how it can help with your loss of erection problems, check out our Cialis product information page.

Our licensed pharmacists and physicians will take you through a free and confidential online consultation to determine whether Cialis or another sexual dysfunction drug is right for you.

You may find our Cialis slogans aren’t the only things that can put a smile on your face!

We specialize in providing our over 1,000,000 customers with relevant product and condition information created by our professional editorial staff which includes our team of medical writers, medical practitioners, and health educators. eDrugStore.com Staff on Facebook

Viagra Quotes

“Hell, I’m practically an escort for my rich doctor clients. They call and I come running whispering sweet nothings in their ears and whipping out some of the best drugs money can buy. Matter of fact, we just got some meds in that makes Viagra look like chewable kiddie vitamins. One of my doctors told me when he came it was so good, he blacked out temporarily. Me and my boy toy are trying that one out tonight.”
― A.T. Hicks, Peaches and the Gambler

“Starving whilst schooled is like a man’s finding out that his wife is on her periods … a few seconds after he took Viagra.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Viagra, Valtrex, Valium. you fuck enough strangers, you’re taking a blue pill with a “V” on it.”
― Tyler Knight, Burn My Shadow: A Selective Memory of an X-Rated Life

“I know that
On the store there is real
And fake

Viagra. both can kill youx don’t worry about that problem.”
― Deyth Banger

“I think you may have taken a different drug to your buddies, though,’ Naya says, and points at the bulging mound in my crotch. ‘You’re a bit too young for the blue pill.”
― Brendan Lawley, Bonesland

“I know that
On the store there is real
And fake

Viagra. both can kill you. “x” don’t worry about that problem.”
― Deyth Banger

“Whether the individuals are members of the Eisenhower Generation or the Baby Boomers, The Villages produces a culture of individual and collective youthfulness, but one paradoxically without youth. Youthfulness in these terms is not only produced through communal activities but also through the repair, development, and enhancement of the individual body itself. The programming of the strip hospital complex supports what might be termed as ‘cyborgian’ ambitions of the residents with respect to a broad range of treatments and products, from the biochemical and the biomechanical, to the bio-cosmetic and the psychochemical. Blechman’s documentation of the ‘Don Juan’ of the villages, Mr. Midnight, resonates with this notion of posthuman subjecthood: ‘I have to pick up my Viagra,’ he says, and soon returns with a brown package. ‘It’s not that I need it, mind you. It’s an enhancement, like whipped cream and nuts on a sundae. If it’s a special night, I might take 100 milligrams.’ Other ‘enhancements’ include the over-the-counter canned oxygen product Big Ox Power Oxygen reportedly used by residents to speed hangover recovery. These forms of experimental subjectivity and collectivity produce unforeseen effects:
Doctors said sexually transmitted diseases among senior citizens are running rampant at a popular Central Florida retirement community, according to a Local 6 News report. A gynaecologist at The Villages community near Orlando, Fla., said she treats more cases of herpes and the human papilloma virus in the retirement community than she did in the city of Miami.
According to the news report, local doctors attributed this predicament to the ready availability of Viagra within the community, a lack of sexual education, and the non-risk of pregnancy within the age group. It will be suggested here, however, that the broader spatiotemporal construction of The Villages, including golf carts and golf cart infrastructure, downtown public settings, and happy hours, further contribute to the social milieu that promotes enhanced intimacy as well as sexual activity.”
― Deane Simpson, Young-Old: Urban Utopias of an Aging Society